My Spirituality and What it Means to Me

Have u ever wondered if u were what many call a "witch"? I have never had to wonder about this, I knew from early on I was different than "normal" kids. I knew things they didnt, I even knew of Paganism, the Occult, Extra Sensory Perception, Scrying, etc...way before being told what they were, though at the time I had no name for what I was experiencing. I AM a Hereditary Witch...I KNOW that this nature based, special power runs in my family. Not all of my family members believe as i do, even deny this power, while others believe, even have witnessed things. Either way, it is their choice to believe or not, there is no forcing beliefs upon each other.

When young I was more in tune with nature and spirits. I have had dreams that come true, or hold meaning that comes to be. I have felt spirits, seem them and talked with them, most hold messages to be learned or passed on. I have seen at least one Unidentified Flying Object. I have known who would be on the phone before answering it. I know when something not so nice will happen to me or someone. I have been possessed at least one time in my life. I have seen Auras. I have seen some bad entities. And so very much more.

In my linage, I have a Great Grand Father (many Greats in front of that) whom was buried with his "Book" of healing and spells. He was buried with it so others would not gain its knowledge for it could be used also to cause harm. My GrandMother has witnessed things. My Mother has witnessed things. At least 2 of my 3 Sisters have witnessed things. And my Children have witnessed things. All these people experiencing things leads me to believe we have a hereditary line of this special power. :)

In the search to find out more about why these things were happening in my family and to myself, and as to why I seemed to be so drawn to the 'religion' of Paganism, Wiccanism and a nature based lifestyle, I started digging around to gain more knowledge. My older Sister was learning more about the Occult so I started gaining some knowledge through her books and items. I learned many things and knew that what I was learning was exactly what I felt. I KNEW I was a witch, nature based, but also Eclectic. I AM an Eclectic Witch for my practices come from many religions, which over time I have studied here and there.

Along the way though...I lost myself as I got older. My family life was no cupcake with frosting. It was Dysfunctional. Not a happy childhood...I had few friends, I was teased a lot and my family are mainly heavy in weight. So, even thought I was not over weight, I was called names, because my body type carried my main weight in the front belly and chest. I had large breasts in elementary, so, even though i should never been embarrassed about my body (didn't know that back then) I did feel a lot of embarrassment from the other kids that teased me. I didnt receive much help from teachers then, who were also very judgmental.

So, my Spirituality was placed on hold a lot, though I went between Christianity and Paganism a lot for many many years. Many many things happened in my life and my heart became hardened, my soul became shattered, my trust in people and love fell apart. I became close to death (not the first time in my life), but this was at my own hands, my own doing and finally the fates said..."U have had enough, time to move on." So I just up and left all I knew, my family, my friends, my home...I disappeared for a while and wound up in the desert where I did alot of soul searching, getting back to nature and healing.

I went around to many places, found, again, all I could on my beliefs. I got back in touch with me, my true soul, what has been calling to my heart for years. I collected stones, rocks, crystals, gems, twigs, herbs, etc. I found tools and i built an Altar that I would go to every morning to start my day with prayers to what I believe is life's energy source that connects us all, all living things, together. The positive and the negative is all part of us. I recognize this energy as female and male, so to me, the Goddess and God is just representation of and a tool to use to connect with this energy. I do not believe in a Devil or evil, I believe in negative energies. I do not believe in a soul God out there nor of a heaven, I believe in positive energies. I believe in past lives and future lives. My past lives are still a part of my soul and I still have memories of these human vessels I once lived in. I do believe in Deja Vu. I also believe there was a great shaman named Jesus long ago that could preform miracle healings. To me he was a great healer of his time and that what he was teaching to people of love, respect, hope, and faith can be used in my Spirituality. As many other nations beliefs are, :) Any one interested in following a Pagan path, I would recommend them to study all types and forms of Spirituality, inform urself in all things and u will be lead in ur heart and soul on which is right for u. I am very drawn to the Norse Spirituality of Asatru. Probably because of the strength in their Gods and Goddesses, which is what I find I need at times in my Spirituality and for myself. It also can be because i am mainly German and drawn to some of that heritage. I also am even more strongly pulled to native American Spirituality. Native blood runs through my veins, so that could be one reason, but also, I believe I have had a past life of a male native and part of his soul, i know for sure, is still entwined in my soul today. Crazy as this sounds, but is what I believe, so dont judge. :)

Then I had to move back to my old area for family reasons and over time the old feelings and behaviors and actions came back and I allowed life again, to take me from where I was happiest and healthiest. My Spirituality was put on hold till recent. Now I am getting back into doing what I love because again my soul was calling out. The energies of life told me I was happiest and healthiest within my Spirituality, but I also have to make that happiness where I am, no matter where I am. So, I did some soul searching and checking things out on the internet and did some talking to my Bestie (who has recently realized she is a Green Witch), and I decided enough wallowing around, I MUST get back into my Spirituality or I will drown again, in this depressive state. So, I have rededicated myself to my Spirituality on Lammas, August 1st, 2016. And i am reconnecting with myself, my world, nature, animals, spirits and all things I love. Be patient with me for this all takes time to absorb.

Today I am happier with myself, Im not perfect, from from that, lol, because no matter how much knowledge u gain on Spirituality, there is always more to know, so no one will ever be 'perfect' in that. But, even though I still have bouts of depression and sadness and anger and fear, etc...I am learning to tame them and give that energy to the Lady and Lord to use as they feel fit. If that makes any sense, lol. I am happier with myself, finding joys in life here and there.

My Spirituality means a lot to me for it connects me with all living things, human, animal and plant. It raises my energy. It heals me. It helps me relax and stop and think of things other than myself. It helps me relate to others and become more understanding.

Anyway, this was a shout out to my followers, readers, and others wanting to know if maybe they are a 'Witch" also, lol. If any of the above sound familiar to u, then u probably are. I will have other posts on my Spirituality and other things, so keep an eye out for a lot of changes happening in my life!

Thank you for reading and have a Blessed Day!