Need friends? Try these tips!

This one's hard for me folks, mainly because I am a hermit. I don't like people much, though I like to be around them and have fun. I know, oximoron. But it's not that I don't want to make friends, but so many people (me included at times) are so judgmental. I try hard not to be, but sometimes my beliefs and attitude shines through. :) I know u know what I'm talking about. So, I have a difficult time making friends. As some of us do, either because of our looks, our attitudes, or characteristics, or some other reason...but, there is hope, so I'm going to lay these tips down for us all! Just remember that to get a friend u have to be a friend, the give and take of conversation, sharing, kindness...from both sides of the fence. If ur giving more than getting, it's time to find new friends. If ur being emotionally hurt more than having happiness, it's time for new friends. DO NOT be afraid to move from old friends that do not bring pleasure to ur life and help u to achieve a closeness u are wanting, or to move on from toxic relationships. It takes time to build new and lasting friendships, but u CAN do it and with people who will understand u and bring closeness into ur life.

I'm sure that u already know, making friends is hard to do, it's not as easy for some then it seems to be for others. Friends are not going to magically fall into ur lap, u need to put effort into finding and keeping those friends. I'd start by saying...find a group of people who have similar likes that u have. I don't mean rush out and join a ton of groups, maybe just one, and I also don't mean a convention, unless that's ur thing. :) But there are book clubs at libraries, art clubs at museums and many more. Look in ur newspaper, ask around, heck, if ur more a leader type, then start ur own fantastic group. Just letting u know, IMVU is a nice way to meet people who can become potential friends, though u must be aware of the bullies, users, fakes, and hackers. But, u can find those who will and do appreciate u just for who u are.

Once u have made a few friends from groups u enjoy doing, keep talking with them, introduce them to each other and talk of the things u like and listen intently on what they say. Even if ur bored with what they talk about, go into Q and A. Ask questions, listen to their answers and comment on their likes. More than likely this will get the ball rolling and u will click with a few new people or maybe all of them. This all takes time, so don't rush making friends, if a friendship was meant to happen, it will. Forcing ur friendship on someone (sounding and acting desperate) will only make the person/s feel pressured into being ur friend...and that's not a friendship honey.

And now this blog is acting up so no more snaps to be had here. -Rolls eyes- :D

Along with joining a group, spend time with people. Don't be mean or rude in ur attitude, try to be on ur best behavior. BUT, don't be fake either. My attitude is one of distrust, sometimes hostile...I figure if u can't handle me at my worst, then u certainly cant handle me at my best. I don't do it on purpose, I am just being the me I have grown up to be. I will be nice, until u give me reason not to be, js.

Another good way to make friends is to volunteer. Others are volunteering to and u may just run into someone who has similar likes there also. Like animals at the animal shelter, stories at the library, etc. Not only will u be making friends with others, but also gaining some skills under ur belt for future jobs or careers.

Be sure to be cheerful if u can. Believe me, I'm not asking u to be the happy float in the parade, but don't be all depressing. Be cheerful, smile, and make eye contact. This attracts people more than being emo...unless ur looking for emo friends, then go for it. :)

Be the one to start the convo. Say ur sitting in the library on the computer, someone sits at a computer next t u. Lean over and say, "Excuse me, but do u know how to look up _____________ (fill in the blank with what u would like to look up)?" or some such, people are always willing to help. Or, when u do make a few friends, invite for a dinner, movies at home, etc. Be creative in ur ideas.

Now that should get u started on finding friends, once u have them, be a good friend. Spend some quality time with them, be loyal to them (no gossip or backstabbing), initiate activities with them, ask how they are doing and LISTEN and sympathize with their situations, make sacrifices for them (small ones...I mean, don't lob off an arm or go to jail for them) :), help them out, and be there if they need a shoulder to cry on.

Be sure to choose ur friends wisely, if a certain friendship is unhealthy, then please, please, please do get rid of them. It may be hard to confront a person on their behavior toward u, but it really must be done if u want to stay happy and healthy. Tell the person: "I have to leave this relationship because it is more negative than positive for me and for my own health I am making this change. I cannot be friends with u any longer and must leave it. If u feel u can change ur attitude/behavior/aggression, then maybe in the future we may TRY to be friends again, but at this time I am incapable of having a friendship with u." And then leave the area, or tell them to leave (if it's ur home). Then do NOT look back and go on in a happier state knowing u stood up for urself and ur happiness.

These should be helpful in ur pursuit of friends and even the shiest person can do them to the best of their ability. Ty for reading and happy friend hunting my smexy peeps!